Finding Oneself

Finding Oneself
by Lillian De Waters-Who Am I-1942

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Reader, from which position are you functioning…from that of man, the individual or from that of the one I Am? This crucial question requires everyone’s sincerest attention.
From the standpoint of the individual thinking, the seeker after Truth, one looks toward the Perfect; one seeks to overcome difficulties by the application of his knowledge of Truth. To this end he treats, prays, thinks reads and studies, ever hoping to gain new light and understanding.
On the other hand, from the position of the one ”I,” ever aware of its perfect ideas and manifestation as the all and only, one knows that Perfection is the ever-present Fact. Can you see that from the position of the individual, one can never become aware of Perfection or Infinity at hand, as all there is? Always he is continually striving; never arriving at that which he seeks.
Dear Reader, do you long with all your heart, soul and being to function in and from the perfect state, and be the perfect Consciousness, thus leaving the false assumptive position forever? Then listen closely. Such prerogative is yours, and your destiny is to fulfill it. Draw a curtain now between you and everything which keeps you in the position of an individual looking toward the Heights. Such steps pave the way, but finally one must look out from his position as the One, instead of looking up toward it.
Just how shall one leave the position of man, the seeker, entertaining beliefs of limitation, discord, imperfection, difficulty, to take that of the I Am, to whom no such consciousness is possible?
Verily, verily, one cannot function as the “I” through any particular process of thought, either mental or spiritual; nor through any longing, no matter how intense. There is absolutely no way for the individual thinker to be transported or translated into that of the Self or I Am.
Why is this so? Because the position of an individual thinker is not a true one; so long as one remains here, attempting by any process of thinking, treatment or behavior to arrive at the Self, his efforts are futile and in vain.
When one reaches the point where he is compelled to renounce all effort, seeing the utter futility thereof, then within this total negation the light dawns, the self stands revealed, and spontaneously exclaims, I Am come, I Am here.
Assuredly, so long as one believes he is one of many individual thinkers, he cannot function in the One Selfhood. Thus, there must come a reversal of perception, which is—I am not in any personal consciousness, I Am perfect Being; never have I departed from it, nor need I return to it!
No book nor illustration shall be sufficient to cause one to make the transition from the transition from the position of bondage to that of freedom; from that of personality to that of the Self. At some point there must come a Revelation or Illumination which will give him the necessary insight and understanding that he is not a separate thinker at all, and has never been other than what he eternally is—the I Am Truth!
Countless numbers today find themselves enroute on this special path or that one; climbing this ladder, that one; in fact, using any means that might suggest transport from where they seem to be to where they wish to go.
However, not until one is disillusioned, discovering that no path will take him, no means deliver him, no thinking bring him to his goal, no behavior unveil the mysteries, is he ready to lay down his life as a personality or seeker for Truth, to receive the illumination that never have I lost nor left my true place or position. Lo, I and the I Am are one.
It is expected that as one treads the various paths supposed to take him to the place of the I Am, he will become disillusioned, for he will find that these paths are Not the Way. This very disillusionment will then promote his awakening, so that he arrives on the instant, declaring, I am Here! I am Me! I have never been otherwise! I, my Self, am the Way!
Inevitably, so long as one is engaged in looking, his search is perpetual and endless. Yet the looking is not altogether fruitless if he comes finally to the place where he completely surrenders all effort, struggle and search. At this point of his extremity comes his great opportunity. Like a man waking from deep slumber, his eyes open and see, his ears are attuned and hear, his integrity is restored, and he knows the Truth—I am That for which I searched…I am That I am.
How utterly impossible for anyone functioning in the dream of personality to ever know the absolute Truth from this standpoint! Regardless how he desires to become Perfect, he cannot do so: for how can anyone, believing he is another being, in another place, ever find himself where he actually is?
Holy ground is always under one’s feet; but until he functions in and as the Self, he personifies the unreal and untrue position of a separate personal thinker. Only in his true estate as the one “I,” can he ever experience the Perfection, Power and Glory of Being.
Here, to the illumined Self, Perfection is established, and at hand. Verily, only in the true position as the illumined Self, shall one experience The Perfection Of Being.

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